forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
