i think my mom watched the whole time
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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