It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
