All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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