I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize