I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You were trust falling into bushes
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
