apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You don't make any sense
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