If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize