im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
