sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
