Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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