Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My hand turned me down
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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