Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
