careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
