i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
