Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
