Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
