She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
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Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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