Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
