After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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