I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
