if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
