Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize