with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
