jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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