Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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