I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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