non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
