the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize