Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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