I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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