I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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