never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
