You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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