I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im six kinds of drunk right now
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
