Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
