just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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