at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
