Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
