Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
