in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
