i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
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Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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