i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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