8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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