hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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