dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
