she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
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She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
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He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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