You made me cry and you don't even care
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
