Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
