Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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