when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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