Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
