They have a pepper shaker for pot.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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