Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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