Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize