To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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