Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
