So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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