I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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