I wanna bring you to show and tell
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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