forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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