It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
