just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
