Four minutes until I can fart!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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