We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
