Are we in a gay sports bar?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
